I have faced rejections countless times throughout my life. Eg, the time I was rejected from being one of the 5 main players in my school’s basketball team and was assigned to be a reserve player or the time I was rejected in a job application at a “dream” company and many more. As a self-identified hyper-sensitive person, I’ve always taken rejection badly. My self-esteem plunge rock bottom, I melt into hot tears and I start to doubt myself. There have been times that a rejection has caused me to become anxious and I start thinking random and illogical thoughts such as that perhaps I haven’t been a good person and the rejection is my karma. I then start to wonder if I am destined to be a person of failure.
Truthfully, rejections hurts a lot. Just like someone stabbing a knife into my heart and choking my throat, while I gasp for my breath. Some of the most painful memories of the rejections I have faced are still etched deeply in my mind.
Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about them. All I can do is to tell myself that I have done my best and my best just wasn’t good enough. Repeating the mantra, “I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.” helps to re-inject some confidence in myself. I just need to take a deep breath, deal with the pain and move on.
As cliche as it may sound, sometimes rejections can open up new doors and new opportunities. It also widens my perspective as the rejection forces me to consider other alternatives and sometimes going along for the alternative might result in me ending up at a better state than i would be if i had gotten my “first choice”. For example, when I was job hunting in 2021, I got rejected from a particular “dream” company. Because of that rejection, I continued with my job hunt and went on to apply and interview for other companies. Eventually, I received an even better offer with a higher starting pay and better company culture than my previous “dream” company. Had I not been rejected, I would never had applied for other “alternative” companies and would never had known what I was missing out on.
Therefore, the moral of the story is not to take everything seriously. Don’t be too hard on myself. Instead, I should accept rejections with a smiley face and a positive attitude. At the end of the day, 车到山前必有路，船到桥头自然直。When we get to the mountains, there will be a way through. When the boat reaches the pier head, it will go straight with the current.
Everything will turn out for the best. Let’s worry about it when it happens. It will be alright in the end. Just try my best and it will be alright.
I found a really interesting Ted talk about rejection on youtube. Linking it here:
- Embrace rejection, don’t run away from it.
- Voicing the doubts of others helps you to connect with them and allow your request to be accepted by others.
- You can achieve your dreams by simply daring to ask for it and not be afraid of rejection.
- The people who end up changing the world, like Ghandi or Martin Luther are often the people who has met with violent or big rejections.
- What matters is how you react after a rejection.